Chrissy Teigen is struggling at the moment.
And she wants everyone to know it.
The model, influencer and television personality got exposed earlier this summer as one enormous bully.
Previously known for being generally funny and creative on social media, Teigen was outed by a number of her victims as someone with a cruel and mean spirit; as someone who once told women to slit their wrists.
We’re talking some really awful stuff here.
Back in May, Teigen specifically apologized for her harassment of Courtney Stodden, admitting she acted as an insecure troll — but the mea culpa wasn’t enough.
It didn’t get Chrissy off the hook.
She remains an outcast in Hollywood and in the minds of the general public as well..
And it’s weighing heavily on Teigen.
“Iiiii don’t really know what to say here…just feels so weird to pretend nothing happened in this online world but feel like utter s—t in real life,” Teigen wrote on Wednesday alongside a photo of her legs propped up on the sofa.
“Going outside sucks and doesn’t feel right, being at home alone with my mind makes my depressed head race.
“But I do know that however I’m handling this now isn’t the right answer.”
“I feel lost and need to find my place again,I need to snap out of this,
“I desperately wanna communicate with you guys instead of pretending everything is okay.”
This is certainly fair and understandable.
Teigen has been used to constant interactions with her fans and now that is gone.
She’s been used to life in the spotlight and now that’s been taken away.
She feels admittedly lost and is facing some mental health issues and has hopefully learned some valuable lessons from her major mistakes.
But then Teigen wrote the following:
Cancel club is a fascinating thing and I have learned a whollllle lot.
And this is just an absurd way to phrase things.
Chrissy Teigen wasn’t canceled, whatever the heck that means. She simply faced the consequences of her actions, which is something that happens all the time, to all kinds of people, in all kinds of industries.
AS IT SHOULD.
Can you imagine a world in which a person did NOT face consequences for his or her actions?!?
“Only a few understand it and it’s impossible to know til you’re in it,” Teigen added of the wholel getting-canceled nonsense.
“And it’s hard to talk about it in that sense because obviously you sound whiney when you’ve clearly done something wrong. It just sucks.
“There is no winning. But there never is here anyhow.”
Teigen is clearly lonely, though.
“All I know is I love you guys, I miss you guys, and I just needed an honest moment with you because I’m just…tired of being sick with myself all day,” she continued.
“I don’t even know if it’s good to say any of this because it’s gonna get brutally picked apart but I dunno. I can’t do this silent shit anymore!
“If you or someone you know has also been cancelled please let me know if there is a cancel club reunion because I could use some time off my couch!
“Thank u and goodbye I love u..”
Over the past few months, Teigen was called out for her past social media posts regarding Stodden, Lindsay Lohan, Farrah Abraham, and accusations from designer Michael Costello who said she bullied him.
Teigen eventually wrote an essay for Medium in which she apologized following the aftermath of her controversial Tweets.
“Not a day, not a single moment has passed where I haven’t felt the crushing weight of regret for the things I’ve said in the past,” she said at the time.
She concluded back then:
“There is simply no excuse for my past horrible tweets. My targets didn’t deserve them. No one does.
Many of them needed empathy, kindness, understanding and support, not my meanness masquerading as a kind of casual, edgy humor.
“I was a troll, full stop. And I am so sorry.”